I started translating this popular HK-based writer’s short story two years ago on a whim. The place I queried wasn’t interested, so I never completed the project. Looking back on it now, Yi Shu’ style is so spare already that I wonder if by being loyal to her style, I lost some of the charm of her words.
Con Artist
By Yi Shu
Translated by Yuzhi Yang
Once upon a time, oh, for about a year, Qi Zhong fell in love with a girl, her name was Lin Changfeng.
He was even infatuated with her name, and often recited it silently.
Changfeng was pretty and vivacious, but she had an awful habit, she was always late.
Every date, no matter with whom, she was always late, if it was with someone elderly, for about 15 minutes, if it was with a boyfriend, half a hour was the standard.
She was late to work as well, a full hour late every day; she worked at the law firm of Lin Xinguo, Esq., her boss is her father.
Once she arrived late, she always apologized in an adorable way, and most people would forgive her. It’s not as if sitting and waiting was tiring, it was no big deal.
Aye, dressing and primping takes time, besides, which pretty girl wasn’t always late.
Only the straight forward Qi Zhong would formally discuss this onerous matter with his girlfriend.
“Changfeng, being on time is a virtue of emperors.”
Changfeng smiled, “I’m not royalty.”
“Being late is a really bad habit.”
Changfeng stopped smiling, “I don’t want to sit and wait by myself.”
“Nobody asked you to be early, being on time is enough.”
“I don’t have a clock at home.” She is mad now.
“See, what a thing to say.”
“You can give a clock to me.”
“It’s a Chinese custom, clocks are not to be given as gifts.”
“Then you can’t blame me for being late.”
Qi Zhong picked out a diamond watch for his girlfriend, but the beautiful Changfeng still didn’t change her habit of being late.
They were almost discussing marriage, Qi Zhong’s heart tugged tenderly, and let her be, if he talked anymore about it, it would ruin the peace.
There are no perfect people in this world.
One day, Qi Zhong got a call from his mom at the office.
“Your aunt is here, she’s staying at Universal Hotel, room 132, you should visit her and bring a gift, she misses you.”
“Will do.”
After work, he immediately went to a famous Northern European silver store and found a necklace, and rushed to the hotel.
On the way there, his cell rang, it was Changfeng.
“Craving mango cheesecake? Ok, I will meet you at Universal Hotel’s coffee bar in 30 minutes.”
Qi Zhong’s aunt is an internationally-renowned artist, her style is akin to Georgia O’Keefe’s, slightly commercial in its appeal, and is quite popular, her business is booming.
Dressed in a white pantsuit, the middle-aged aunt came out and hugged Qi Zhong.
“What to give an international celebrity who has everything?”
His aunt said, “A kiss.”
The aunt and nephew laughed together. She gave Qi Zhong a sketch, and they chatted a while, then Qi Zhong said his goodbye.
He was waiting for his girlfriend in the coffee bar, right on time.
Ah, she was late again.
This time, she was really late, there was still no sign of her 25 minutes later.
Qi Zhong was impatient, he scanned the crowd, and saw someone nearby.
Whether or not there is a girlfriend, men always liked looking at pretty girls.
The woman nearby was really attractive.
It was dusk, she was already drinking champagne, though dressed casually, she exuded a sense of languid luxury, her features were special, big eyes paired with bee-stung lips, and was different from Changfeng’s traditional sense of beauty.
She stretched lazily, and got up to leave.
A waiter caught up to her, “Miss, the bill.”
She stared at him with her big eyes, “My room number is 132.”
The waiter was intimidated, “Yes, of course.”
The woman turned to leave, and left behind a beguiling scent mist.
Qi Zhong realized just then, his aunt was staying in room 132, and didn’t know this wild-natured woman, yet she was treating her to food and drinks.
A con artist.
There are all kinds of people in the city, big con artists scam money and sex, small-time ones scam food and wine.
Qi Zhong didn’t get up and ask hotel security to catch the woman.
She must have been hungry to end up doing this.
Changfeng finally arrived, and patted her boyfriend on the shoulder, “Why, you waited into a stupor?”
Qi Zhong looked at his watch, she was late for a solid 45 minutes.
If she was slightly on time, Qi Zhong would have missed seeing that scene earlier.
For some reason, Qi Zhong was a bit repulsed.
Wasting other people’s time is a very selfish behavior.
He was silent, and objectively assessed his girlfriend, she was ordering cake and drink as if nothing happened.
It was already time for dinner.
Qi Zhong didn’t want to talk more, that night, he drove Changfeng home early.
While working hard in the study, somehow, he kept remembering that con artist’s big eyes, it was odd.
Changfeng called, “You were upset today?”
He answered neutrally, “No.”
His tone was different from before, even he was surprised. Love comes and goes, even the person involved can’t control it, before, he would willingly wait for her, every minute was filled with anxious excitement, but right then, he thought differently.
He didn’t want to wait 45 minutes for every date.
Changfeng said,”Let’s go try Mexican tomorrow.”
“I’m busy tomorrow.”
“With what?”
“My aunt is here from New York.”
“The famous artist, Qi Meili?”
“That’s her.”
“Qi Zhong, you have to introduce me.” Changfeng sounded excited.
“Let me see if she is busy.”
Once, she was supposed to have dim sum with his grandmother, she was also late for half a hour, and he was as anxious as an ant on a hot pan, it was good that the elderly woman was understanding and didn’t mind, this time, he didn’t think it was necessary.
Qi Zhong said, “I have to do a report now.”
He hung up.
The next afternoon, he looked up the bill for his aunt at the hotel, as expected, a bottle of Kluge champagne and an order of Beluga cavier were charged already.
He thought a bit, his sixth sense tells him that the woman would show up once more.
People of her kind were daring but without smarts, they never know when to stop. Once they succeed, they will keep trying the same locale.
Once the time was right, Qi Zhong went to the coffee bar to wait.
He’s waiting again, and there is no telling if she would appear, but Qi Zhong didn’t mind, sometimes people are mysterious beings.
Not long after, his target appeared.
The woman was dressed in a white shirt and narrow-cuffed jeans, but she had on a pair of red, skinny-heeled mules, revealing a sense of naivete in her seductiveness, and projected glamour with her evil vibe.
She sat down daringly, without a care, and ordered champagne still.
The waiter recognized her, he smiled and said, “Still charging to room 132?”
She didn’t even lift her head, “Yes.”
Qi Zhong smiled. Ah, the same tactic.
He stood up, and walked in front of her, he said quietly, “Room 132?”
The woman raised her head coolly.
Sparkling eyes, full lips, as if she had so many things to say, this kind of beauty should be able to enjoy many kinds of luxuries in this metropolitan city, why did she need to scam a petty bottle of liquor?
She closed her expression and said, “Leave, or I’ll call security.”
The thief is yelling “Thief!”
Before Qi Zhong could say anything, a security guard made his way over.
The burly man said, “Miss, please come with me to the office.”
The woman’s face turned white, and sat there stiffly.
Qi Zhong asked right away, “What’s going on?”
“Sir, this doesn’t concern you. This woman pretended to be living in room 132.”
Aye, she is finally found out.
He didn’t realize his aunt was smart enough to check her bill every day.
“Miss, you can’t not pay.”
Qi Zhong said, “My aunt Qi Meili is staying in room 132.” He took out his business card. “We’re charging to her room, if you don’t believe me, you can talk to her.”
The guard squeezed out a smile, “Yesterday…”
“Sorry, yesterday, my friend and I charged a bottle of wine and forgot to tell her, it’s my fault, I’ll be responsible.”
The guard called up room 132 immediately, and talked a bit, he then smiled widely and said, “Ms. Qi says to sign your name on the bill from now on.”
Then he retreated.
Qi Zhong said to the woman who scams food and drink, “C’mon, we should go somewhere else.”
The woman had lost some of her arrogance from earlier, but her big eyes showed no fear.
They walked out of Universal Hotel.
Qi Zhong said, “In the future, find a different place.”
She laughed, “Don’t think that you were my savior.”
Qi Zhong answered, “I didn’t say that.”
“The worst would be for me to get thrown out, I’ll make money tomorrow, and start over.”
“Why come to these coffee bars?”
“There are lots of tourists here!” Ah, she was an escort.
Qi Zhong smiled, “You have no one to settle the bill.”
She looked a bit despondent now, “It’s because of the Southeast Asian recession, there are no Japanese, Korean, or Taiwanese visitors anymore.”
Even they were affected…society is intricately linked, if one link was disconnected, everyone suffers.
Qi Zhong has an adventurous streak, but now, even he could see this woman is no lady, it’s not a good idea to get too close to her.
He said, “Goodbye.”
That woman answered, “Thank you, Mr.Qi.”
Sharp that she was, she already saw his name on the card.
Qi Zhong couldn’t help but admire her.
“Why don’t you ask me my name?”
Qi Zhong smiled, they all must have names that sounded adorable, and were easy to say, like Mimi, or Zhuzhu, or Mingming, or Zhizhi.
“I’m Yang Yunyun.”
Of course, a double character name, like a childhood nickname, when used in a public setting, it conveys a sense of intimacy.
Qi Zhong felt this was getting dangerous, he waved at her, and walked off to the parking lot.
Is this the end of the story? Of course not.
Two days later, his aunt was going back to New York, Qi Zhong was chauffering.
Right before she got on the plane, she told her nephew, “Men have a reputation too, you have to be careful with who you’re befriending.”
Qi Zhong had to smile, “I only got two bottles of wine free from you, and now you are lecturing me.”
“Good advice is hard to hear.”
Qi Zhong breathed a sign of relief after he saw the senior woman off.
Right after he turned around, he saw a familiar trim figure, somehow, his heart started beating, long legs, a tiny waist, what an alluring figure, could it be –
That woman saw her friend and turned around, ah, it wasn’t her, but another beautiful woman. The whole city is full of opportunity-seeking beauties, being attractive is such a gift.
Qi Zhong quietly walked back to work.
Changfeng had been looking for him for days, his secretary said, “Ms. Lin said she has an emergency.”
Qi Zhong knew her temperament, so-called emergencies meant her favorite new outfit was bought by someone else first.
Before he had time to answer, Changfeng came to him.
“I’ll be at your office in 10 minutes.”
“Changfeng, I’m busy, can this wait?”
“I have an emergency.” Her voice sounded strained.
“I won’t be free ’til 11:30.”
She was spoiled, as her boyfriend, he was partially responsible.
Her face was stiff when she arrived, Qi Zhong made her coffee himself.
“Did you lose your favorite earring?”
Changfeng stayed quiet.
“I’ll go shopping for new styles with you.”
“Qi Zhong, you cheated on me.”
Qi Zhong was shocked, he was innocent, but he blushed for no reason. “What did you say?”
“Xu Tingfeng says he saw you at Universal Hotel with a beautiful woman, acting really intimate.”
Whoa, people really cared too much about others’ business.
Changfeng’s eyes were red, “All these years you never looked at another woman, I really loved this about you. But now you have changed.”
“That was just an acquintance.”
“Was that the famous singer, Wang Baojuan?”
“No, no, she said her last name was Yang, I didn’t know who she was, can you stop worrying?”
“From now on, every day after work, you have to be with me.”
Qi Zhong had to laugh, this would be worse than marriage. He can’t foster this trend, and let her dominate him.
“Changfeng, I have personal freedom.”
“You are saying no?”
“No grown-up would tolerate such strict rules.”
Changfeng threatened, “Do you want to break up?”
Qi Zhong had never thought about this, and was surprised, but after some pondering, this was a choice — a woman so arrogant would be hard to serve over a lifetime.
Right then, his secretary came over to remind him about a meeting, “The client is waiting.”
“Sorry.” He stood up.
Changfeng had bad timing, and had to make a scene at work, now she is interrupted before she could finish.
A hour later, Qi Zhong came out of the conference room, Changfeng had left already.
His secretary told him, “Ms. Lin said to call her after you have thought this through.”
Qi Zhong ayed.
He didn’t know why, but he didn’t rush and go apologize to her, and grovel, that night, he worked until very late.
